I don’t understand. What’s going on really? It can’t be…Mitosumi’s…here? It’s been 5 years with no contact—no whatsoever. It can’t be him! I was scared—no voice would come out of my mouth either. I hate him! I hate him! I don’t love him! Never! Those words—they’re all I could think of…though I know it would always be the opposite of every lie I say, I can’t help but feel hurt about it.

Suddenly, I thought to myself; everything is different and I shouldn’t worry about the past anymore. The past is the past and will only be the past—nothing more. As much as I didn’t want to show my face and look at him once again after so many years that passed, I concentrated on how to calm my face and look like as if his appearance doesn’t affect me one bit. I straightened my kimono and walked out of my room. As I walked out of the room, everyone was shocked to see me calm and smiling; then it must be working—my smile…my fake smile.

“It’s been years…5 years to be exact. How are you doing Mitsoumi? I’m glad that you remembered and showed at my party.”

“It’s been long Maya…you still haven’t changed. Beautiful and endearing as ever.”

Beautiful? Endearing? Did I heard them right? Why do these words make my heart flutter without my knowledge? It’s frustrating…I can’t have these feelings anymore.

Hearing those words coming from his mouth made me feel uncomfortable in a way like every other girl who’s in love should. Denial I may seem to be but…right now it’s the only way I know how to escape from his presence and away from what I still feel for him. Hurt, crushed, broken, left alone, torn, damaged—these kinds of pain that I’ve been feelings since that day, they hurt more today than I could have ever imagine they would. It’s suffocating. I feel like dying.

Ignoring his presence, I turned to my brother and smiled… “Brother, are you the one who invited Mitsoumi here tonight?” I didn’t know my brother’s motive for inviting him here but…I couldn’t deny having the feeling of happiness and sorrow.

“Yes it was I that invited him. I heard that he came back to Japan earlier than he planned and I thought that it would only be polite to invite him here since he is…was part of the family. Wouldn’t you agree Maya?”

“Of course brother.” I turned to him and stared at him. He looked the same though…his vibes…his aura…it wasn’t the same as before. From then I knew that something did change. His shoulders were still broad and muscular; his facial expression was still the same but with sternness and his eyes…so…deep and dark…yet I felt home and allured—like I was then before. I stopped at once when I thought back from what I just said. I stopped staring and to my surprise he was staring into my eyes and shook it off the same time I did. As if he felt a spark—no not a spark more like a connection…just like before—but I knew better. I shook my head and smiled. I must just be stirred up by all of these. “It’s no problem at all.”

To my surprise he started to laugh like he thought what I said was funny or something.

“You surprise me so much, Maya. You really have changed…though I’m quiet curious; did you really change or are you pretending that you have?”

Startled. Did he already see through my pretend smile—pretend everything? No that can’t be… no matter how smart and sharp Mitsoumi is he won’t be able to tell whether I’m lying or not.

“What do you mean? Are you saying that I will never change—the way I am since you’ve left me? I don’t think so.”

“You’re right; things may have changed…for the better, I guess. Excuse my rudeness if you will. So then…are we allowed to touch the food yet?”

Food…of course, that alone will never change. Mitsoumi still loves food as usual. He can never get tired of it. Somehow, things that are happening right now makes me feel nostalgic about the past. How I wish things were different from now. For a sec, it made me think; what if he never left me in the first place, what would’ve happen? Will things be the same as they are right now or will things be more different? It pains me just to think about it coz from what I’ve been through I’ve been wishing for the heavens to be nice to me and give me what I want the most. Happiness. It’s one thing that no one can give me—except him.

A lot of the guest went home already and the party is almost over. I guess today was different from what I was expecting it would be. I thought I won’t be able to entertain my guest with my head full of thoughts about him. Everyone was busy helping out, while Suichiro and Aya were both playing around—like normal lovers do. I was envious about their relationship but I was also happy for my little sister. And brother…he…he seems happy with his girlfriend and…I think he just disappeared with her! Hmph.

Suddenly, I jumped out of nowhere when someone grabbed my hand and took me away. My mouth was covered so I couldn’t scream. I tried to struggle but it was no use…this person was too strong. When I felt the hand loosen, I turned around and I saw his face right in front of me.

“Mitsoumi?! What the hell do you think you’re doing? Kidnapping me like this. What do y—”

Before I could finish my sentence, I was cut off by him. My mouth was filled with his. My body felt weak against his kiss and the hotness his body brings. I couldn’t bring myself to fight it. My knees went weak and it wobbled. It took me 15 seconds to remember how to breathe—I was being drowned with pleasure. My eyes flew open remembering the past and pain. “What do you think you’re doing?! You— you— you have no right to do that!”

I could hardly talk…I was too shocked from what just happened.

“Really now, Maya, I think we both know what you still feel about me.”

“I don’t feel anything for you. I never did. So leave me alone.”

“Then why did you kiss me back? Was it just my imagination? No, I don’t think so.”

I noticed him looking at my knees; it was still shaking and wobbling. I blushed out of embarrassment. I held it so it would stop shaking but then I just dropped on my knees. He chuckled.

“Your body is much more honest than you are.”

“Shut up. You don’t know anything.”

“What don’t I know? That you’re still in love with me after all these years? That you were putting that show right in front of me when you find out that I came back? What else? C’mon Maya, I know you more than you gave me credit for. You’re still the same as always.”

“You’re wrong. I’ve changed more than you will ever know. I don’t know who you think you are but leave me alone. You expect me to just let you interfere with my life after dumping me and leaving no trace of you for 5 years? NO! You don’t know what happened to me; you don’t know what I’ve been through and what I’m still going through just because of YOU! You don’t know anything!”

He looked into my eyes filled with sadness and pain as if he was going through the same thing as I am. He touched my face and he held it with such gentleness. Tears filled my eyes and my body was yearning for his touch. “I hate you.” That was all what I managed to say.

“I know.”

His hands drew me closer to him as he started to kiss my forehead, then down to my nose, ears, cheeks, my eyes and finally his lips found mine. I couldn’t fight my urge any longer. I know that this was against my rule, but my body just moved on its own. Nonetheless, I was too caught up in the moment that I didn’t even notice that we were already inside my room. I couldn’t careless to anything that was bound to happen tonight; all I did care about was the heat of our body and kiss that we’re both sharing with a passion.

“Open your legs wider and only look at me. I want to see your face; I want to see you cry with pleasure.”

My face was hot; I was too embarrassed to do what he says but I still did accordingly. His caress left a warm soothing feeling all over my body and I couldn’t get enough of it. His scent was…addicting and alluring. It seemed like forever since the last time I smelled and touch him.

“Hmmm. No—not there… aaahhh…Mitsou—aaahhhh!!”

“Your body grew even more sensitive than the last time. Mmmm. I can’t get enough of your taste. So sweet and one of a kind. You are my drug…now and always.”

“Haaaaa….mmmm…. aaaahhhhh… Mitsoumi— I can’t— anymore— I’m going to— aaahhhh…Mitsoumi!!”

It was bliss. My body recognized this kind of happiness. My body felt weak and I slouched against his then I fell asleep—sound asleep. Actually, I was pretty scared neither to fall asleep nor to wake up form this dream. I was scared to see him not by my side but to my surprise, he was still asleep. Suddenly, his phone rang and I was startled. Who could be calling this early…unless its form his works though I don’t know what kind of work he has. I picked it up—out of curiosity.

“Hello?”

“Ah. Miss Natsume is Mr. Takayanagi there?”

“Uhm, he’s kinda sleeping. Who is this?”

“Pardon me for not introducing myself. I’m Mr. Takayanagi’s butler and my name is Alfred.”

“Oh. Wait I think Mitsoumi is awake. Here, your butler called. He’s still on the line.”

“Hmm, thanks. Hello, Alfred? Yes, I understand. Bye.”

“What was that?”

“Oh, I have to leave.”

“Oh— okay. Don’t you want breakfast?”

“No that’s fine. I have an early appointment.”

He threw his clothes and kissed my forehead goodbye. I was quiet happy but lonely. There was something about it that made my heart clench that I couldn’t breathe. “Okay.”

I walked him outside. It seems more appropriate that way. “Thanks for coming to my birthday.”

“It’s no problem. I wouldn’t have come if not for your brother—”

What did he just say? If not for my brother…he wouldn’t have come?

“Oh, I mean I forgot about your birthday coz of my busy schedule. Sorry.”

I was dumbfounded from what he just said. How could I expect more from him? What happened last night was probably just a mistake that should have never happened. But then again, I didn’t care…which was the problem.

“No, that’s ok. Everybody forgets so its fine.” Then I gave him a smile—a smile from the bottom of my heart though it hurts a little.

As we walked out of the gate, I saw someone already standing outside. \That must be his butler but—

“Asami? What are you doing here?”

Shockingly the girl flew into Mitsoumi’s arms and suddenly kissed him passionately.

“I was waiting for you to visit me yesterday but then I heard you had to go somewhere and visit some people so I didn’t bother to— oh who is this?”

Suddenly pointing at me. “Oh, uhm, my name is Maya Natsume.”

“Maya? Are you Mitsoumi’s ex-gf?”

“Uh, I guess you can say that…who ar—“

“Nice to meet you Maya! I’m Asami, Mitsoumi’s fiancé. We’re going to be great friends!”
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