Nightmares of Love- Book One, Chapter One
Crushed. My tears wouldn’t stop flowing. My heart—I feel like its being ripped apart. Running down this alley, searching for him—wondering where he went, wondering why somehow I was hurting. It’s too painful for me to handle…someone please help me!
“Where should we go next Mitsoumi? I still don’t want to go home yet—I’m enjoying myself way too much. Hehe.”
He looked at me with his fierce but warm eyes and smiled.
“Shall we go to my place then? I want to spend my last night with you today.”
Fear came—and somewhere in my heart I felt that I just lost something important to me. I tried to keep my face and voice calm.
“What nonsense are you talking about Mitsoumi? Last night with me? Hehe, this won’t be our last night together—coz you’re going to be with me forever.” Then I winked.
“Your right; what I meant was that I want to spend my night holding you and making love to you over and over…”
Pain—I felt like crying and for some reason; I couldn’t breathe at all. But I kept myself calm and I had to think positive; nothing’s going to happen…nothing.
“Sorry. Forgive me if I’m too rough tonight…I can’t hold it any longer.”
His kisses were rough, his touch were cold—filled with no emotions. I felt like he was saying goodbye to me. It hurts but I didn’t care—I love him too much.
“Maya…Maya… —I love you.”
We did it over and over that my knees were too weak to stand and my eyes not able to open. But I loved every second of it. I was unaware of what time it was and how much time was I sleeping. Though I didn’t care, just being with Mitsoumi seems like eternity to me; eternity that I would always be happy to spend with him.
When I opened my eyes, I was alone in the bed. I was still trying to think positive and thought that maybe Mitsoumi just went out to buy some cigarettes. Three hours had passed and he was still not back. I dressed myself and decided to look for him. As I was about to walk out of the door, I saw a note hanging on the mirror.
“When you leave, give the key back to the housekeeper. I already told the housekeeper that I won’t be living there anymore. Don’t look for me—Even if you know where I am, I will only be disgusted to see your face again. Goodbye.”
My whole world just fell apart. Mitsoumi—no…he didn’t…he didn’t left me. He’s going to comeback…he’s going to comeback…right? My worst fear came and I know I had to do something. I ran out of the house and I started to search for him.
“Mitsoumi! Mitsoumi! You can’t leave me. Please, where are you?? Where did you go??”
As I turned, I saw my brother standing in front of me. His face was so hard to read that I don’t even know what he was thinking—no, it’s not that it’s hard to read…I just couldn’t think straight. I had no clue about what’s going on anymore.
“Maya…come here my dear little sister. Come to brother.”
He held out his arms to embrace my cold body as the rain kept on pouring down on us.
“No brother! Where is Mitsoumi? Where is he? I need him! Please…please tell me…”
I hadn’t noticed that my tears have been flowing and my eyes were swollen and red. I was breaking inside out. I didn’t know what to do. Mitsoumi is my life and I can’t live without him.
“He…he left already. He’s not here in Japan anymore. He contacted me earlier this morning, saying that he has to cancel our appointment together. He said he some important date with you—by then I knew what he was planning. I’m sorr—”
“What do you mean not in Japan anymore? Mitsoumi didn’t leave me…he can’t…he loves me too much to do that…and…and…and he said that you canceled on him so you can hang out with your girlfriend. Mitsoumi wouldn’t lie to me…no. I don’t believe you brother. Tell me where Mitsoumi is!”
My body reacted on its own; I started to attack my own brother. My mind was too busy thinking about Mitsoumi leaving Japan.
“Tell me where he is!! Brother!!!”
With just one flick of his finger and my body slammed on the wall. Everything hurts. I couldn’t breathe. Everything means nothing anymore. My heart…it’s…it’s...gone. Forever.
“Stop it Maya! Mitsoumi is not coming back! He’s gone already so stop this nonsense at once! You have to face the truth that he doesn’t love you. No. He never loved you!”
“No! You’re lying! Mitsoumi is coming back! No—”
My eyes opened. I was catching my breath and tears started to form in my eyes. Dream. Again. It’s been five years already, yet I’m still hurting and being hunted by this dream since he left. I want to forget about him. No—I need to forget him.
Next morning, I forgot that it was my 20th birthday. Aya was preparing the food and organized a family party.
“Maya-chan, Happy Birthday!”
She jumped on me and hugged me tight that I couldn’t breathe. Then brother came with a smile.
“Now now Aya, don’t kill your sister on her birthday. Happy Birthday, Maya.”
“Thank you Aya and Onii-chan.”
“Maya-chan, the guests are coming soon so you better hurry up and get dressed. You have to be the prettiest person on your party ok?”
“Sure. I’ll go get dressed then.”
As I was dressing, I heard people coming and started to look for me. They’re already here. I put on my kimono and my hair accessories and I started to walk out the room. Suddenly, everyone stopped chatting. Then I heard my brother started to talk… I was beginning to wonder why it was only him who didn’t seem shock at all. Too curious. I hurried myself then I stopped.
“Glad you could come—Mitsoumi.”